In What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, author Shad Helmstetter says that 80 percent or more of your internal dialogue focuses on your shortcomings; that is, much of what people say to themselves is negative. That means that most of us, all day long, are internally saying things such as, “I didn’t do that right,” or, “My collar is off,” “I should have never sent that e-mail,” or, “I’m fat,” or, “I didn’t do this job well,” or, “They’re going to think I’m stupid.” If anybody ever heard this stuff they’d think we had gone off the deep end.
What about giving yourself some positive message? I mean, you can’t possibly be that bad, can you?
These messages work particularly well when it comes to self-starting:
“I choose to easily complete this transaction.”
“I choose to feel at ease in finishing this project.”
“I choose to masterfully complete this task.”
“I choose to be effective in all aspects of my job.”
Suppose that you have to learn how to operate new equipment at work. It’s taking you longer than you wanted or expected, and you’re now totally stressed out. You’d rather put off the task than continue. You’re probably giving yourself one of these messages internally:
“I can’t stand this.”
“I’d rather be anyplace else.”
“I can’t do this.”
“Get me outta here.”
You could be saying to yourself:
“I easily accept this challenge.”
“I’ve mastered situations that were more difficult than this.”
“I am going to be more productive because I know how to use this to its best
advantage.”
“By tomorrow this will be a piece of cake.”
To make self-talk work for you, particularly for becoming a self-starter, be more conscious of what you say to yourself. If you have a hard time thinking of positive things to say to yourself, take time to generate a list of statements you can use, and either write them down or record them. Such a list will help you replace the negative statements that you more routinely offer yourself. By letting positive, self-boosting statements into your internal dialogue, you enhance the learning process, experience less stress, and feel fat better about yourself.
When in doubt about what type of positive self-talk to employ, self-starters think to themselves: “I choose to feel good about what I’m about to do” or “I choose to easily take appropriate action.” The great news is that you only have to make these silent choices (people might stare if you say them loud) when you’re having trouble getting started and not taking action.
Regards,
Timben
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Engage in Creative Procrastination
Everyone procrastinates now and then, including the person in your seat at this moment, whether or not you care to admit it. It is part of the human condition. To make the best of a lingering case of procrastination, fill your time with efficient activity prior to getting started on the task you’ve been avoiding. Although you are not tackling the item that merits your current attention, you use this period of “creative procrastination” to take care of all those other things which you would eventually handle anyway.
Rather than simply frittering away the time when I procrastinate, I try to accomplish as many of the other small task as I can while putting off the big one that I know I need to be tackling. Too often, many people who procrastinate not only ignore the main task at hand but also fail to accomplish all the other little tasks that will eventually need attention. They dawdle. They surf. They hurl.
If you complete secondary tasks, eventually – when you’re able to begin the major task and finish it – the major task and all the secondary tasks are done. Given that someone is not awaiting your completion of the major task, you’re in the same place you’d be if the major task had been tackled first and the secondary ones last! So, just when you thought you were the master procrastinator, you were being productive after all! It’s a form of time-shifting. The key is to continue to do things that are of some importance during your procrastination, rather than dilly-dallying.
Once you begin to tackle the larger project or assignment, you can approach it with the mindset that “I completed all these other things and now the slate is clear to do a good job on this.” Hereafter, if you simply can’t get started on a project, undertake other secondary tasks that you’ll need to do anyway. In that way, you’re at least taking care of other useful business. Once you finally initiate and finish the big, important task you’ve been shirking, all of these smaller but necessary tasks will already have been done.
On occasion it is understandable and even desirable to do something else other than the task you had originally set out to accomplish, such as when short-term, high-priority tasks or opportunities arise. Don’t beat yourself up over such incidences – they happen to everyone. When that “something else” is finished, you can return to the task at hand. It’ll be waiting for you, “cause it’s not going anywhere by itself no matter how much you want it to.
Regards,
Timben
Rather than simply frittering away the time when I procrastinate, I try to accomplish as many of the other small task as I can while putting off the big one that I know I need to be tackling. Too often, many people who procrastinate not only ignore the main task at hand but also fail to accomplish all the other little tasks that will eventually need attention. They dawdle. They surf. They hurl.
If you complete secondary tasks, eventually – when you’re able to begin the major task and finish it – the major task and all the secondary tasks are done. Given that someone is not awaiting your completion of the major task, you’re in the same place you’d be if the major task had been tackled first and the secondary ones last! So, just when you thought you were the master procrastinator, you were being productive after all! It’s a form of time-shifting. The key is to continue to do things that are of some importance during your procrastination, rather than dilly-dallying.
Once you begin to tackle the larger project or assignment, you can approach it with the mindset that “I completed all these other things and now the slate is clear to do a good job on this.” Hereafter, if you simply can’t get started on a project, undertake other secondary tasks that you’ll need to do anyway. In that way, you’re at least taking care of other useful business. Once you finally initiate and finish the big, important task you’ve been shirking, all of these smaller but necessary tasks will already have been done.
On occasion it is understandable and even desirable to do something else other than the task you had originally set out to accomplish, such as when short-term, high-priority tasks or opportunities arise. Don’t beat yourself up over such incidences – they happen to everyone. When that “something else” is finished, you can return to the task at hand. It’ll be waiting for you, “cause it’s not going anywhere by itself no matter how much you want it to.
Regards,
Timben
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Discard Limiting Language
Some words such as “must”, “should”, and “ought” seem a little less than positive. So do cuss words, but that’s a different story.
If you were told by your parents, teachers, or coaches that you should do something, you must do something, or that you ought to do something, chances are that you regarded such exhortations as commands or burdens. As an adult, you unconsciously may still regard such terms with disdain, even when you use them in your own thinking!
I shall elaborate. If you think to yourself, “I must finish the ABC report by Thursday, “you unconsciously may be regarding the completion of the ABC report as overly burdensome, sort of life making your bed or being nice to your sister.
Each time you think to yourself, “I should, I must, I ought to do something,” the energy that you naturally have for such tasks is not nearly as high as it would be if you changed your internal language. Instead of thinking, “I must finish the ABC report by Thursday,” replace that language with “I choose to finish the ABC report by Thursday,” “I want to finish the ABC report by Thursday,” or “I will finish the ABC report by Thursday.” Instantly, your entire being realigns and re-energizes itself to aid you in your proactive choices.
Suppose you receive a call, and a customer or client requests a certain bit of information. Instead of saying, “I’ll have to dig up that file for you,” instead say, “I will be happy to locate that file for you.” This conveys a more upbeat message to the caller. Even more important, it makes the task seem far less onerous for you.
Your use of language within the confines of your own thinking or conversation with others magically and rapidly transforms your ability to begin tasks of all sizes. Hereafter, if you find yourself reluctant to handle a task, employ language such as “I choose,” “I want,” “I will,” and “I will be happy to,” and notice the dramatic improvement in your energy and attitude!
Some words such as “must”, “should”, and “ought” seem a little less than positive. So do cuss words, but that’s a different story.
If you were told by your parents, teachers, or coaches that you should do something, you must do something, or that you ought to do something, chances are that you regarded such exhortations as commands or burdens. As an adult, you unconsciously may still regard such terms with disdain, even when you use them in your own thinking!
I shall elaborate. If you think to yourself, “I must finish the ABC report by Thursday, “you unconsciously may be regarding the completion of the ABC report as overly burdensome, sort of life making your bed or being nice to your sister.
Each time you think to yourself, “I should, I must, I ought to do something,” the energy that you naturally have for such tasks is not nearly as high as it would be if you changed your internal language. Instead of thinking, “I must finish the ABC report by Thursday,” replace that language with “I choose to finish the ABC report by Thursday,” “I want to finish the ABC report by Thursday,” or “I will finish the ABC report by Thursday.” Instantly, your entire being realigns and re-energizes itself to aid you in your proactive choices.
Suppose you receive a call, and a customer or client requests a certain bit of information. Instead of saying, “I’ll have to dig up that file for you,” instead say, “I will be happy to locate that file for you.” This conveys a more upbeat message to the caller. Even more important, it makes the task seem far less onerous for you.
Your use of language within the confines of your own thinking or conversation with others magically and rapidly transforms your ability to begin tasks of all sizes. Hereafter, if you find yourself reluctant to handle a task, employ language such as “I choose,” “I want,” “I will,” and “I will be happy to,” and notice the dramatic improvement in your energy and attitude!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Experience the Fear and Proceed Anyway
Dr.Susan Jeffers, in her book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, discusses how tasks and activities outside of our comfort zones may cause us to feel uneasy. This discomfort is predictable – it is a typical human response to challenges that may seem a bit out of the ordinary.
Jeffers suggests that when you encounter a task that represents a hurdle or a roadblock, you need to let yourself feel all the emotions that arise. Are you uneasy? Quivering? Lightheaded? Is your stomach upset, are you trembling, or do you feel fearful?
When you’re forthright with yourself about how you feel (namely, scared!), initiate your action anyway, Jeffers says. Often you’re able to break through your fear and overcome the obstacle that loomed so large when you weren’t being honest with yourself.
It is vital to recognize that fears about certain situations or tasks you face need not be debilitating. You don’t have to hide underneath to covers when the big, bad deadline is out to get you. Indeed, if you allow yourself to feel the fear of whatever task you have been putting off, in whatever form the fear takes (facing penalties for missing a deadline, missing out on a one-time opportunity or investment, and so on), you actually position yourself to more easily begin the task at hand. So, get scared, and get started!
Before a car’s ignition will start, you need to turn the key, unless of course it’s hot-wired. Before you blast through the procrastination, you feel the fear. When regarded as a routine, feeling the fear can become an important weapon in your arsenal. The next time you dread launching a new project, allow yourself to experience the full gamut of fear-related sensations. Feel the fear and start anyway.
If one of your underlying reasons for procrastination is the fear of success, then your immediate mission is to gain reliable knowledge of how this success would actually affect your career and life. You can talk to or read about others who have achieved similar success, or you can talk to associates and friends about the success. Or, simply sketch out on paper how you see the situation unfolding. Your guesstimates are as good as anyone’s. In any case, get your thoughts down on paper; doing so helps deflate the fears and uncertainties.
Hereafter, rather than letting feelings of fear stop you, you may be pleasantly surprised to find how much easier it is to start. Indeed, you have passed the first step on your road to self-starting you have felt the fear.
Dr.Susan Jeffers, in her book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, discusses how tasks and activities outside of our comfort zones may cause us to feel uneasy. This discomfort is predictable – it is a typical human response to challenges that may seem a bit out of the ordinary.
Jeffers suggests that when you encounter a task that represents a hurdle or a roadblock, you need to let yourself feel all the emotions that arise. Are you uneasy? Quivering? Lightheaded? Is your stomach upset, are you trembling, or do you feel fearful?
When you’re forthright with yourself about how you feel (namely, scared!), initiate your action anyway, Jeffers says. Often you’re able to break through your fear and overcome the obstacle that loomed so large when you weren’t being honest with yourself.
It is vital to recognize that fears about certain situations or tasks you face need not be debilitating. You don’t have to hide underneath to covers when the big, bad deadline is out to get you. Indeed, if you allow yourself to feel the fear of whatever task you have been putting off, in whatever form the fear takes (facing penalties for missing a deadline, missing out on a one-time opportunity or investment, and so on), you actually position yourself to more easily begin the task at hand. So, get scared, and get started!
Before a car’s ignition will start, you need to turn the key, unless of course it’s hot-wired. Before you blast through the procrastination, you feel the fear. When regarded as a routine, feeling the fear can become an important weapon in your arsenal. The next time you dread launching a new project, allow yourself to experience the full gamut of fear-related sensations. Feel the fear and start anyway.
If one of your underlying reasons for procrastination is the fear of success, then your immediate mission is to gain reliable knowledge of how this success would actually affect your career and life. You can talk to or read about others who have achieved similar success, or you can talk to associates and friends about the success. Or, simply sketch out on paper how you see the situation unfolding. Your guesstimates are as good as anyone’s. In any case, get your thoughts down on paper; doing so helps deflate the fears and uncertainties.
Hereafter, rather than letting feelings of fear stop you, you may be pleasantly surprised to find how much easier it is to start. Indeed, you have passed the first step on your road to self-starting you have felt the fear.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Visualize Yourself Succeeding With Ease
You hate public speaking and find yourself having to prepare for a banquet speech. Horrors. You continually put off working on your address because you’ve always been so nervous before a speech that you can’t even wedge a morsel of dinner down your throat.
Visualization to the rescue! (And I don’t mean visualizing the audience members in their underwear.) Undoubtedly you’ve read about Olympic athletes who have used visualization technique to enhance their performance. Have you ever tapped into this powerful technique yourself? Using it, you can blast through your reticence to get started on your speech, or even combat long-term procrastination on lengthy projects.
Olympian Dwight Stones, a high jumper who represented the United States in the Olympics some thirty-five years ago, was one of the most avid and prominent users of visualization techniques in the sport. His method was so precise and so observable that he influenced the generation of high jumpers that followed him. You don’t have to be an Olympian athlete in pursuit of a gold medal to engage in this process, but his experience in the Olympics is a good place to begin the discussion.
Before every jump, during practice or actual competition, Stones took his place a measured distance away from the high-jump bar and paused for several seconds. He then envisioned himself taking every step on the way toward his launch over the bar. During televised competitions, particularly the Olympians, you could see Stones moving his head up and down, seemingly counting the steps, as he visualized his approach and takeoff.
When he “reached” the final step before the jump, you could see him contemplating the angle at which he approached the bar, where he’d plant his foot, how he’d use his arms and upper torso to create upward thrust. Sure it looked a little mystical, but the guy could jump! Stone’s head movements told you in advance that he planned to clear the bar easily, land on his back in the proper position, and be pleased with his efforts.
Dwight Stones used such visualization techniques to help achieve record-setting performances. Certainly, he didn’t clear the bar at every height every time. Many of his jumps were misses – he knocked over the bar and in some cases, failed to make the jump altogether. But, such misses and failed attempts are never the focus of visualization. Success is!
Likewise you can visualize succeeding at every step along the way to giving an effective speech, from writing it to arriving at the meeting site, approaching the lectern, not losing your lunch, speaking with eloquence, and receiving hearty applause. In this, and in virtually all professional as well as personal endeavors, employing visualization helps you to perform well and accelerate your progress. You accomplish your task in ways that non-self-starters, who don’t use visualization, cannot appreciate. Too bad for them.
Be Like Mike
Here’s a variation on visualization that may work for you: simple observation. During his heyday as a basketball player and ever since then, Micheal Jordan has been paid a small fortune to endorse products. One of his earlier commercials offered the then-famous line, “Be like Mike” The advertising ploy was that if you bought and used this product, you could be like Mike, because he bought and used it too.
We certainly can’t be like Mike was on the basketball court, but if we shine a little in the workplace like Mike, wouldn’t that be a good thing?
When it comes to self-starting, is there a “Mike” in your office – not someone six feet, five inches, but someone widely regarded as having a take-charge attitude? This is the person who seemingly never procrastinates, at least not in a way that others can notice. This is somebody who “takes the bull by the horns” and dives headlong into complex tasks and demanding projects. You know, the exact opposite of the Cowardly Lion.
Action-oriented role models are all around us; largely, they are the winners in life. We see them on television, in newspapers and magazines, even walking down the street. Although you previously may not have considered the value of studying the behaviors of action-takers and high achievers, now is the time, so get ready.
What can you learn by observing such role models in your office or anywhere else you find them? Discover how they launch into arduous tasks and blast through any feelings of procrastination. Summon up your courage and ask what makes them get started so quickly on challenging tasks. Glean from them any shreds of wisdom they will impart.
Hereafter, if you’ve been stalling on a project, consider one of the high achievers in your organization. How would the person act in the face of the task you’re confronting? Sometimes simply envisioning this person and the kinds of action he or she would take is enough to get you started. Be like Mike, or Moby, or Mikhail, or Marianne, or anyone else whose action-oriented behavior is worth emulating.
Regards,
Timben
Visualization to the rescue! (And I don’t mean visualizing the audience members in their underwear.) Undoubtedly you’ve read about Olympic athletes who have used visualization technique to enhance their performance. Have you ever tapped into this powerful technique yourself? Using it, you can blast through your reticence to get started on your speech, or even combat long-term procrastination on lengthy projects.
Olympian Dwight Stones, a high jumper who represented the United States in the Olympics some thirty-five years ago, was one of the most avid and prominent users of visualization techniques in the sport. His method was so precise and so observable that he influenced the generation of high jumpers that followed him. You don’t have to be an Olympian athlete in pursuit of a gold medal to engage in this process, but his experience in the Olympics is a good place to begin the discussion.
Before every jump, during practice or actual competition, Stones took his place a measured distance away from the high-jump bar and paused for several seconds. He then envisioned himself taking every step on the way toward his launch over the bar. During televised competitions, particularly the Olympians, you could see Stones moving his head up and down, seemingly counting the steps, as he visualized his approach and takeoff.
When he “reached” the final step before the jump, you could see him contemplating the angle at which he approached the bar, where he’d plant his foot, how he’d use his arms and upper torso to create upward thrust. Sure it looked a little mystical, but the guy could jump! Stone’s head movements told you in advance that he planned to clear the bar easily, land on his back in the proper position, and be pleased with his efforts.
Dwight Stones used such visualization techniques to help achieve record-setting performances. Certainly, he didn’t clear the bar at every height every time. Many of his jumps were misses – he knocked over the bar and in some cases, failed to make the jump altogether. But, such misses and failed attempts are never the focus of visualization. Success is!
Likewise you can visualize succeeding at every step along the way to giving an effective speech, from writing it to arriving at the meeting site, approaching the lectern, not losing your lunch, speaking with eloquence, and receiving hearty applause. In this, and in virtually all professional as well as personal endeavors, employing visualization helps you to perform well and accelerate your progress. You accomplish your task in ways that non-self-starters, who don’t use visualization, cannot appreciate. Too bad for them.
Be Like Mike
Here’s a variation on visualization that may work for you: simple observation. During his heyday as a basketball player and ever since then, Micheal Jordan has been paid a small fortune to endorse products. One of his earlier commercials offered the then-famous line, “Be like Mike” The advertising ploy was that if you bought and used this product, you could be like Mike, because he bought and used it too.
We certainly can’t be like Mike was on the basketball court, but if we shine a little in the workplace like Mike, wouldn’t that be a good thing?
When it comes to self-starting, is there a “Mike” in your office – not someone six feet, five inches, but someone widely regarded as having a take-charge attitude? This is the person who seemingly never procrastinates, at least not in a way that others can notice. This is somebody who “takes the bull by the horns” and dives headlong into complex tasks and demanding projects. You know, the exact opposite of the Cowardly Lion.
Action-oriented role models are all around us; largely, they are the winners in life. We see them on television, in newspapers and magazines, even walking down the street. Although you previously may not have considered the value of studying the behaviors of action-takers and high achievers, now is the time, so get ready.
What can you learn by observing such role models in your office or anywhere else you find them? Discover how they launch into arduous tasks and blast through any feelings of procrastination. Summon up your courage and ask what makes them get started so quickly on challenging tasks. Glean from them any shreds of wisdom they will impart.
Hereafter, if you’ve been stalling on a project, consider one of the high achievers in your organization. How would the person act in the face of the task you’re confronting? Sometimes simply envisioning this person and the kinds of action he or she would take is enough to get you started. Be like Mike, or Moby, or Mikhail, or Marianne, or anyone else whose action-oriented behavior is worth emulating.
Regards,
Timben
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